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But I'm not sure it actually help your issue. It sounds more of a tit for tat, getting back kind of move. I think you are in a VERY hard and difficult situation, trying to keep your head above water. I'm not sure engaging in the same kind of behavior you find hurtful actually make you feel any better. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are as okay with the on-line affair as you both wish you were. There is nothing wrong with that. It's not that crazy to have tried your best to accept but realize you can't. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing that side of my DH with another. Emotional affairs are just as deadly as physical affairs, sometimes even more so. I think there are two separate issues your relationship with your wife, and your sense of personal fulfillment. I think there are other ways to go about finding personal fulfillment and social connections, other than seeking out an emotional afair. Forums, like this one, can give you some form of social outlet, but getting OUT is even better imo. Volunteering, joining activity groups, taking a class, joining a support group, etc can ALL be wonderful for the soul, and NOTHING beats real live friends over internet fantasies. As for your wife, that's much more complicated and nuanced milf free dating in washington
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