Haugen is right that the marriage divide is largely generational, and in reading her candid statement, I couldn't help thinking that this is how my parents felt when I told them I was, when I Blondes older women wants hot sex relationship advice chat met my partner, and when we got married. Growing up in conservative households, they both had what seemed at the time unshakeable convictions about homosexuality. At the tail end of the '90s, meant AIDS, and even once I convinced them that I might get through life without contracting HIV, they still thought that the "- lifestyle"—which in their imagination must have consisted of meth-fueled orgies and cross-dressing—led inexorably to unhappiness. Years passed without their nerdy, neurotic starring in a porno, and they begrudgingly came to accept that I'd quite simply grown into a nerdy, neurotic adult. But they ed my boyfriend my "friend" until I'd had enough and made a stink about it, after which they reluctantly gave in, ing him—haltingly, under their breath—"your boyfriend." By the time we got married a year ago, they just ed him, and they drove all the way from Arizona to Washington. (my mom is deathly afraid of flying) for the wedding. Having your core beliefs challenged is indeed uncomfortable, and it takes courage. I'm partially making fun of my parents here, and there's a lot that's funny—my mom once asked me, after I told her that I was helping coordinate Trans Awareness Week at Yale, "Are you transgender now?" But the point is that having a challenged of their expectations and forced them to change. This process wasn't short—it took ten years—and to say it was "uncomfortable" for them is an understatement. Absolutism is comfortable. This is why those on the other side of the marriage divide often talk about how "commonsense" their opposition is and assail people like Haugen for being "moral relativists." But rather than representing a lack of conviction, Haugen's respect for those who believe and live differently from her is its own ethic—one that forms the basis for a humane and equitable society.